Where Do You Call Home?

While visiting a church recently, the woman at the nursery check in desk casually asked, “So…where do you guys live?” Without missing a beat I responded, “Springfield, MO.”  At the exact same time Brennan said, “Iowa.”  The woman stared at us with raised eyebrows and I chuckled nervously.  Her question wasn’t a complicated one and it certainly sparks some questions when a married couple gives two different answers.  The truth is, this isn’t an uncommon scenario.  

We’ve been traveling most of the time for almost a year now.  We receive our mail in one state, register our car in another, and stay in a third when we’re not on the road.  To be perfectly honest, when people ask “where do you live?” I’m pretty confused about that myself.  It’s hard to tell where home is when I feel like an alien everywhere.  Our location changes by cities and sometimes states every week and each place has its own little culture shock.  At the grocery store, I find myself wandering down aisles looking like I’m lost…because I am.  I never know what to order on the menu at a local diner, and you’ll always find a GPS on our dash because we never recognize the places we’re in.  

I feel like I’m a resident of everywhere.  I have favorite restaurants and coffee places spread throughout the country.  We’ve made friends and connections in more than 30 states.  I get my hair done in a different salon every other month. I love this adventure we’re on.  I really do.  We’ve seen some wonderful places and met fantastic people.  I enjoy being on the road with my little family, but loving the adventure doesn’t make the question easier to answer.    

Sometimes this chapter of life makes the easier questions complicated to respond to.  Am I homeless? No.  Do I have a home? No.  Where do I call home? I don’t really know.  Sometimes it’s here, sometimes it’s there.  

Paul tells us in Philippians that, as believers, our citizenship is in Heaven.  When I feel like a foreigner in all places, I can rest in the fact that I know where my eternal home is.  I can trust that during my nomadic journey through deputation, I don’t have to feel out-of-place.  I’m beginning to realize that I’ve put too much security in my physical location and I’ve allowed that temporary fact to become part of my identity.  So for now, I may stumble through an answer when asked where I live, but if you ask me where I’m going I can confidently respond to that.

Embrace the Journey: Four Lessons on Deputation

As I sit at a strangers dining room table in a town I’ve never been to before, I’m reflecting on the past year.  A year of adventure, uncertainty, excitement…and sometimes stress.  This year has definitely been a learning curve for all three of us.  But as I think about the road (haha) that this past year has brought us down, I can think of four key lessons that have improved and strengthened me on this journey.  

Lesson 1: Organization is key to sanity.

Organization does not come naturally to me.  Unlike my little sister-in-law, who could write a book on structure, this is something that I struggle with.  My mother always told me when I was growing up that I was the master at hiding things.  She would tell me to clean my room and at the end of the day it would look clean…until she found the plastic bags of stuff hidden in my closet.  However, this year has FORCED me to make some organizational changes.  Being responsible for packing and moving basically everything that my family needs to live every week has really changed the way I look at managing stuff.  We’ve developed a system of packing that works pretty well for us and now I can have all of us packed to go pretty much anywhere for any length of time in about 2 hours.  

Lesson 2: Learn to have flexibility.

I feel like I am an oxymoron of sorts.  I said that I have NO organizational skills but I am a planner.  I am a question asker who needs to know everything.  Because of this, our lifestyle over the last year has taught me a few things about being flexible.  Last minute changes, surprise speaking opportunities, and the general unknown have all been things that have strengthened my ability to LET GO over the last year.  I have always had kind of an all or nothing mentality when it comes to planning.  In the past, I felt that if I couldn’t control every minute detail of the situation then I wasn’t going to plan anything at all.  I have realized that when I try to take control of situations and stick strictly to the plan, I end up being way more stressed and it doesn’t change anything.  Slowly, I’ve been intentional about handing the reigns back over to God and reminding myself that the unknown factor is not always negative. 

Lesson 3: This is an extrovert’s life.

But I’m not an extrovert.  I’m pretty sure that I’m actually the EXACT opposite.  In high school, I did whatever I could to get out of speaking in front of class, even raising my hand was nerve wracking.  Strange social situations, making new friends, and speaking to a crowd are all things that intimidate me more than anything else.  So, it’s easy to say that this year has not been the most comfortable for me but I’ve been learning.  God has shaken up my idea of security and thrown me into a life that only an extrovert can lead.  I feel like I truly realized this a few Sundays ago when we were asked to teach high school Sunday School on the spot.  I few years ago, panic and queasiness would have immediately set in and I would have been wishing I had some sort of anti-anxiety medicine.  I would have been looking for any excuse to escape, but none of this happened.  We jumped in and had a great time.  Nervousness didn’t even cross my mind.  I’m still not an extrovert and may never be, but God has given me a passion for people and a confidence that I could have never mustered on my own.       

Lesson 4: Trust is the only thing that really matters.

Deputation is what you make it.  One of our missionary friends told us this in the beginning.  You can make it through deputation and arrive on your field without ever learning any of the first three lessons.  It may be a chaotic, anxiety-filled mess of a ride but its doable.  But, I’ve learned in the last year that you won’t succeed without trust.  Unless you trust that God is doing something in the midst of confusion and the unknown, it’s likely that you won’t be buying that one-way plane ticket.  Regardless of what happens on this long, sometimes harsh journey of deputation, the lesson that must be FOREFRONT in our minds is that God orchestrated all of this.  He’s putting all the pieces together.  In return, He expects us to trust Him with the plan and just do the work (the hard work) that He asks us to do.  

It occurred to me the other day that God could put us in Belgium tomorrow.  The funds could come together and the tickets could be bought.  I’ve heard of things like this happening and I know that it’s possible.  But if I wake up tomorrow in southeastern Oklahoma, I know that God has a plan for me to still be on deputation.  It’s not by accident that we’re raising funds this way.  God has taught me so much in the last year on deputation and I know he’s using this time in my life to mold me into the person He needs me to be.    

We have. We are. We will.

When I became a student at Baptist Bible College 8 years ago, I didn’t have a passion for missions.  To be honest, I really couldn’t tell you what missions was, but God changed that.  Over time he gave me a heart for a people I didn’t know and He asked me to follow Him to that place.  It was at BBC that He cultivated these thoughts and put people in my life to direct me towards His plan.  

A year ago today, Brennan and I stood on stage at BBC and were recognized as missionaries to Belgium.  We accepted the call He had for us and decided to follow Him.  When I was a freshman I heard a speaker in chapel say, “God doesn’t call the qualified, He qualifies the called.”  This didn’t really soak in until I realized how true it was in my life.  I didn’t grow up in a church that taught missions.  Before I attended BBC I had never even met a missionary.  If it was based on my qualifications alone, I would be so unfit for this.  But it never ceases to amaze me how God takes normal people with a willing heart and molds them in to the people He needs to advance His kingdom.     

This week we had the opportunity to participate in Fellowship Week at BBC.  Being at BBC always brings back so many memories.  Memories of friendships built, of knowledge gained, of an uncertain future.  BBC went through some rough days during my time there.  I didn’t know what the future would hold for the college when I graduated 2 years ago, but they’re headed in such a great direction now.  It was so nice to see the new branding and the energy on campus, and I’m so excited to see how they will continue to move forward in the coming years.  God is still molding lives at Baptist Bible College and I’m confident that He’s not finished using them yet! 

The theme for 2015 was “We have. We are. We will.”  Regardless of the changes that happen on BBC’s campus, in BBFI churches, or in our lives, we still have the same call - to share the Gospel of Jesus with the whole world.  I’m thankful for a fellowship and body of believers that are committed to this call above anything else. 

Looking Back: My "Bucket" List

As I was organizing my computer this evening, I found my "bucket" list of things I wanted to accomplish in my lifetime.  I came up with this list in 2007 and probably haven't looked at it much since.  My life has changed alot since then and it's kind of interesting to see what my 18 year old self wanted.  The bolded goals have been achieved.

[1] fall in love
[2] get married
[3] be a mother
[4] own a coffee shop
[5] host a foreign exchange student
[6] go parasailing
[7] learn to play guitar
[8] see a Broadway performance
[9] visit New York
[10] be a missionary to Europe
[11] sail in the ocean
[12] stargaze on the rooftop of a skyscraper
[13] camp out under the stars
[14] learn to speak Italian
[15] publish a book of poems and lyrics
[16] climb a mountain
[17] go white water rafting
[18] take over 50,000 photographs
[19] be a teen counselor
[20] fly a plane
[21] plant a garden
[22] remodel a house
[23] restore a classic car
[24] see a tornado
[25] volunteer more
[26] roadtrip from coast to coast
[27] watch the sunset from a lighthouse
[28] go to Ireland
[29] teach a class
[30] write a book
[31] build a treehouse
[32] start an organization
[33] go on a cruise
[34] shoot a gun
[35] go rockclimbing
[36] jump off a cliff (into a body of water)
[37] visit the louvre
[38] go to Greece
[39] teach a child to read
[40] become a professional photographer

I don't know why I sat down and wrote this out seven years ago, but I'm glad that I did.  It's so great to look back and see how much has happened over the past few years.  I can't wait to see what the next few years will bring and maybe I'll cross a few more of these off along the way!

-Libby

Missional Relationships

Tonight I read this line from an article entitled "The Top 10 Things Pharisees Say Today" by Carey Nieuwhof.

One of the reasons many church aren't growing is because Christians don't know any non-Christians.

This is an unsettling truth that has been unveild to me in the last few years and something that was driven home to me by a pastor I spoke with recently.

Its true.  How can we expect to grow the church when we, the hands and feet of Christ, don't develop relationships with those who don't know Him? How can the ups and downs in our lives be a living testimony to the world if we don't allow the unsaved close enough in so they can see His working in our lives through these situations?

Its an uncomfortable truth to swallow and one that I myself am just as guilty of.  When I was younger and in high school many times I surrounded myself with like minded believers and when I did encouter those with contrary beliefs I would debate them factualy about the Bible instead of displaying Christ's love that tranforms lives.  Christ's love changes lives, not facts.

Becoming a missionary in a 1st world country, relationships, friendships with those who haven't accepted Christ as their savior will be our primary avenue towards leading the lost to Him and building local churches.  This is why I consider this one of the most important spiritual goals in my life right now.  There won't be a mass amount of physical needs that we can meet to draw people in to share the Gospel with.  Our relationships will be the driving force.

My challenge to myself and to you is to consider your relationshipes with those who aren't saved.  Consider the examples in the Bible of Jesus loving those who showed a life of outright sin such as the adulterous woman who was about to be stoned.  Allow God to use our friendships with those who don't know Him to be an avenue that reflects His work in our lives through the ups and the downs.  When we allow our relationships with the unsaved to be used by God, He may in turn use those fragements our lives we've shared to impact hearts for Him.

The Adventure of our Life Officially Begins

It's hard to begin to express in words the emotions that Libby and I have expierenced in the last couple months.  In March we became first time parents to Ms. Eleanor Mae.

Also, at the end of March we ended the lease on our apartment and got rid of many of our possesions.  It isn't just moving to a new place, but getting rid of a place called home for the next few years and setting up anew in a new culture.

In May we were officially recognized as TEAM missionaries to Belgium under Tim & Barbara Downs.

This signifies the start of our work to get to Belgium.  We now begin seeking churches to partner with us so we can get to the field.

It reminds me how much closer we are getting to Belgium and makes me yearn more and more for Europe.  The Lord is developing an increasing desire and interest in all things Europe.  Tonight I found myself watching Sky News (European news).  Anyting that can make me reminisce of Libby and I in Europe is a welcome reminder.

You can pray with us in the following ways:

• Pray for supportive connections with churches that capture the vision we've been given for Europe
• Pray for us emotionally as we shift in a very unconventional lifestyle
• Join with us in praise for the partners we've been blessed with thus far
• Join in praise for our wonderful blessing, Eleanor: cute and healthy

Thank you for your continued interest in our lives.  We grow more and more excited about what the Lord has in store for us in Belgium.

Trip Planning Monday

60 days from now we'll be on our way to Europe! It seems like it's so close.  That's both incdredibly exciting and frightening at the same time.  It's so hard to plan for a trip that's unlike anything I've ever been on.  I try to spend at least one day a week planning and reading blogs about how and what to pack, how to travel, couchsurfing, etc.  

A few weeks ago, we had the opportunity to host some couchsurfers for a few hours.  The guy grew up in Europe and the girl had lived there for several years.  They had so much advice for things that we hadn't even thought about.  Since our conversation with them, I've decided that taking carry-on luggage only would be best for us.  Now, that creates a whole new thing to plan for.  Suddenly I've gone from 50lbs of luggage to 20lbs of luggage for three weeks.  The last time I traveled by plane was to Boston four years ago.  On that trip I maxed out my luggage capacity by taking a different hoodie and pair of jeans for every day.  Clearly I can't do that this time!  

It seems like the more I read and plan about Europe, the more I realize I don't know.  There's so much to think about and so many factors to consider.  As scary as it is, I'm very excited to spend three weeks in the area that we'll be living in someday!  It'll be fun to meet people and see the culture from an inside perspective.  I'm also excited about the possibility of meeting up with some of Brennan's extended family in Denmark.